I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
