CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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