Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
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