Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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