Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
