Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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