he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
