Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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