there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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