dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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