I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
