Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
