I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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