I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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