It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
