I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
