I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
