What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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