No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
