I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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