i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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