Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize