trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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