Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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