I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Is Oprah even human
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
