How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
