I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
