My sheets look like a crime scene.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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