It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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