ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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