k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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