But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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