he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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