just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
