So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
