somebody snuck up and got me drunk
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize