Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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