If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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