their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
