Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
