this boner is exhausting
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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