epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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