It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
