I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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