someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
where does the pee come out of this thing
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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