I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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