Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
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Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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