so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
