Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
