i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
