...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
