Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
