I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
