Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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