her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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