i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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