i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
