how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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