I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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