I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize