I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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