who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
